Ready?

Am I ready to love again? Maybe, but to fall in love again? I really am not sure. These are two different things as far as I am concerned.

I have been feeling lonely these past few days. I don’t show it of course, but deep inside me, I long to have a serious conversation with someone mature. I miss going out, going to the cinema, having dinner in a decent, quiet restaurant, going to the beach, walking hand-in-hand with someone, snuggling, drinking coffee, sitting side by side in silence. Except for activities that need a partner, the rest I can do all by myself. But would not I look pathetic doing all these alone? And would not it be much nicer if I do all these activities with someone special?

Now I understand it. The company of your children is blissful, the company of someone special is pleasurable. They are different kinds of companionship that any human should have and should not be deprived of. The level of happiness is incomparable.

Should I start exploring this possibility of dating someone again or should I just let the feeling of loneliness go away in time? Hmmm.... I think I am ready to have a relationship again, with someone really special. He has to be special, I won't settle for anything less... I know I said I am enjoying my single blessedness but many times these past few days, I long for the company of someone, someone to cuddle with, someone I could explore the possibility of falling in love with. I miss being in love! Yes, I miss that, whew! It’s fantastic to be in love and equally fantastic to be loved in return.

The question now is, how should I start and where should I start? Or should I start at all? Should I just wait for God's perfect match to find me or should I exert extra effort to find him? God works in wonderful ways and He surprises us with things we don't even ask or expect for, but didn't God also said, help yourself and I will help you? Haha, this is kinda funny, but seriously, I am inclined to go with the latter. I will look for that someone, I will pray that I will find The One, that someone whom God prepared for me. I am special, too and I deserve nothing less...

Shopping

This is crazy, I don’t have the right to splurge, or shall I just say, to spend, primarily because money is still tight but I have been feeling depressed of late and I turn to shopping online and in malls to find relief for this expensive “feeling.” Ok, let me get this straight. I am not deeply depressed, I am just a little depressed and whenever I feel this way, for no reason at all, I resort to prayers and….to shopping (arghhhh!) , to spending money for myself. Sorry, but sometimes this nagging negative feeling doesn’t just go away with prayers, lol… Oh well, now I am getting it, I guess I really am not depressed, I am just looking for excuses for my unnecessary spending. Bad!

So, what have I got since late July until now? Here we go…

1. Human Nature body and bath care products (Human Nature Davao) - P1,050.00
2. Silver jewelries for me and my daughters (bought in Baguio and online)- P1,900.00
3. Black and gray pashmina (Baguio and in Victoria Plaza Mall)- 350.00
4. Mendrez red open-toe wedge (GMall of Davao) - P699.00
5. Le Donne gold high heels (Gaisano South Mall) - P1,295.00
6. Norie black faux leather slipper (I use for driving, Gaisano South Mall) - P399.00
7. Plains and Prints black and gray dress (preloved, bought online) – P440.00
8. Gray linen dress (tailor made, fabric bought at Gaisano South Mall) – P750.00
9. Biofresh shoe insole silicon gel– P279.00

No sir, I don’t have anything from Abreeza or SM. I don’t like to hop from one shop to the other, that’s how the boutiques at Abreeza Mall and SM City Mall are structured – face it, that’s how shops are structured in any mall.  Abreeza does not have a one big department store where almost everything you want is in one place. You need to go in and out of several shops to look for things. SM is a little better but choices are limited, especially clothes.  Anyway, Abreeza Mall is out of my way, and personally, I find Abreeza Mall over-rated - or perhaps, the prices of clothes, bags and shoes there are just way out of my depth (come on, admit it girl, you’re overwhelmed and intimated by the price tag! Hahaha! Yeah, probably true)? I get more depressed with their nice but ridiculously priced stuff. ANYWAY, SM is just on my way home, but like I said, it has limited choices so I don’t frequent it often. Another turn off about SM is their parking area. It is huge but I prefer a parking space that’s within the confines of the building so I don’t need to worry for my back if Mr. Rain decides to fall or if Mrs. Sun decides to go full blast.  In other words, when I shop, I also consider parking convenience. I normally go to the reliable, good, old GMall, Gaisano South Mall and Victoria Plaza (though parking in VP is like SM) where good, affordable, quality finds abound. For my groceries, it’s NCCC Mall, no questions ask. It has everything I need. It can do more to improve its selection, but so far, I have what I need at NCCC Mall.