Guyabano Ice-Sher

I did not intend to make a guyabano sherbet or ice-cream, I only wanted to make guyabano shake for my children. It’s their first time to taste a guyabano fruit and I want them to like it. Yes, I desperately want them to like it. I did a lot of reading about the fruit and its medicinal value is astounding. I don’t think my children will like the fruit as is, it has to be mixed with something my children love, and that is MILK!

I put the guyabano meat in the blender, pureed it, mixed it with 2 ripe bananas, added evaporated milk (big can), condensed milk (small can) to sweeten it and added cold water. We had no crushed ice so cold water it was then. After blending, I tasted my experiment, yummy! But no, the kids won’t like it, I am very sure of it. They are so picky! And the picky eaters were waiting, Oh no! I was debating whether (1) to serve it and run the risk of them not liking the fruit forever, or (2) to delay a little and turn it into ice candy (entails a lot of work, huh!) or (3) to simply put everything in a container and freeze it overnight. Okay, I chose the last option, much easier to do. I told my kids, the smoothie was not ready, eat banana instead, lol. They were disappointed of course. Anyway, I put the mixture in the fridge and froze it for 24 hours – ahhhh long wait!

But the wait was all worth it! My kids love the guyabano…. sherbet? Ice-cream? Ahhh, I don’t know what to call it, important thing is, they love it and are looking forward to another round of guyabano… sherbet or ice cream? Whatever!

--------------------------------------------------

As an after-thought, I did a little research on the difference between an ice-cream and sherbet, this is what I got:

• Ice-cream contains almost 50 percent milk or cream, while sherbet contains a maximum of 2% cream or milk.
• Ice-cream is based on a dairy product, like milk, cream or butterfat, while sherbet is based on fruit puree.
• Ice-cream is categorized into five styles based on its butterfat content, while sherbet has only one style of categorization.

Hah, my guyabano is neither an ice-cream nor a sherbet, for one, it did not contain any cream. So, what shall I call it? Hmmmm, Ice-sher! A combination of ice-cream and sherbet, lol.

Was scared!

Thursday last week, I took my son to the doctor for his monthly check-up. My son’s health is fragile and his immune system is weak due to taking steroids for his kidney. He was coughing again and to rule out any serious ailment that could compromise his present condition, his doctor ordered a chest x-ray. I was also coughing so I decided to have a chest x-ray myself. Turned out my son’s result was negative, chest is clear of any obstructions or densities while mine was suspect. A questionable linear density was noted overlying my second anterior rib on the right. I was advised to go thru another x-ray for further evaluation, this time an antilordotic view. I was scared! I went to the hospital on Saturday, more depressed than I already was, and took the test. The whole of Sunday I was agonizing, I could not concentrate, I was so afraid of what the result would be. My x-ray in 2010 was fantastic. I could not believe I have questionable densities on my right lung this time.

Today, Monday, I got the result…..both upper lobes are clear! Praise God, now I can smile again :)

My Human Nature Loot

These are my latest purchases from Human Nature. I will be traveling to Manila next week and I normally travel light, that's what the small bottles are for. What's not in the photo is my Calming Massage Oil. I dropped by my favorite massage salon before going home. I was excited to use my massage oil, unfortunately,  my favorite masseuse accidentally dropped the bottle and broke it - fortunately, that happened after she transferred some oil to the bottle pump she uses at the salon. So yeah, I was still able to use it, rather, my masseuse was still able to use it for my favorite Swedish massage.

These are the stuff I got today:

1. Kids Natural Shampoo for my twin sons (it's pineapple scent)
2. Hair strengthening shampoo and Hair strengthening conditioner (200ml and 50ml)
3. Natural Berry Bliss Lotion (200ml and 50ml)
4. Natural spray sanitizer in citrus burst ( 50ml)
5. Hand and Foot Salve in strawberry scent (50ml)
6. Intensive Hair mask (gugo and avocado - 50g)
7. Camomile Feminine Wash (Natural 200ml, Cool 50ml)
8. Facial scrub (50ml)

I cried, I did

It feels good to be able to cry your heart out without concerns or fear of being seen, being criticized, being pitied, being heard. It’s just you and your hurts talking. And I did that last night in the car while driving home. It felt good. And I arrived home as if nothing happened. I thought my drama was over. But before going to sleep, there I was again, in my melancholic, despondent state, wanting to cry all over again. I was looking at my twin boys deeply asleep and I told myself, okay girl, you cry. They won’t see you, they won’t hear you. And so I cried, no, I howled -  deep, long howling -  in my bathroom until  I exhausted myself I had to drag my feet out of the bathroom onto my bed.

I have not cried for more than a year now. No, I did not cry at all when my ex-husband and I parted ways. I kept telling myself I should be strong. But now realizing the damage I did to myself, always keeping my emotions at bay, holding my tears from falling, showing people my strong stance, laughing at every opportunity, telling friends I am more than okay – all these self-esteem damage control measures are taking a toll on me. Now I am feeling the burden of my deep-seated pain, it wants to go out, it feels so heavy and my heart is complaining. I should have cried, I should have stopped pretending everything was fine, I should have let go. But I did not do that. I did not want people to pity me. As always, I was concerned about what people would say. I am an idiot!

No one sees my pain, not my children, not my friends, not my family and relatives. Not a single soul.  Only I see and feel my pain. Thanks to driving home alone. Now I know a place and a time to release my pent-up emotions when I need to.

I need some pick me up

My woes continue, spirit is sagging, mood spiraling down, mind is foggy, feeling lethargic, I AM in dire need of some serious "pick me up," help!

So hard to pretend that everything is perfect with me when deep inside my heart is bleeding and I am like a volcano on the verge of exploding. I feel like I am hanging on a thread and anytime now I am going to just fall flat on my face. This is a terrible feeling. I really don’t want to entertain this because I am fully aware this is not healthy. I don’t want to admit I am depressed, but this feeling is bothering me a lot. I don’t like it at all, yet I cannot seem to control it. A song, a note, an action, a movie, something, anything reminds me how alone and lonely I am. Literally, I am not alone. Of course I have my rugrats who kind of help balance my life. But figuratively, I am alone and lonely. I don’t even have someone to talk about how I really feel. I have pretended for so long that I am fine, why start talking about how I truly feel now? Arghhh!

I have to change my thought pattern and get out of the rot I am in, have to remain optimistic. I need to, for my own sake!

“Staying positive is not about living in denial; it's about choosing the quality of thoughts that you allow to take up residence in your mind.” – Great, great, great!