Carrot Cake

I have been busy lately baking cakes, uhmmm, experimenting actually.

Since my first banana-choco cake, I have baked two more banana cakes. One was a simple banana cake without chocolate, it was okay, tasted like banana cake, lol. In my second banana cake, I added more bananas to make it more bananalicious but the batter became so thick I had to add liquid. I decided to add milk (the recipe did not call for milk) and my banana cake turned out to be a banana pudding, hahaha.

This time around, I wanted to try something healthier for my twins, so I decided to go for a carrot cake. This recipe is from www.epicurious.com and it's very, very simple to do. The recipe calls for two sets of 9" round baking pans and since my oven can only accommodate one, I had to slash the ingredients by half. I also used a square pan instead of a round pan.

I decided to go further and added some frosting to my cake. I don't have cream cheese on hand so I went for a simple frosting which is made of confectioner's sugar, milk and vanilla extract. I mixed these three ingredients until it became a little pasty.

My carrot cake doesn't have salt. I also only used half of the required baking soda..

The recipe says preheat oven at 375 degrees F and bake the cake for 30 minutes. Exactly what I did! But look at my cake. I only baked it for 20 minutes, had I baked the cake for 30 minutes, I don't think it would still be edible, lol.

Here's the recipe from www.epicurious.com

For the cake:
2 cups all purpose flour
2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
3 cups grated carrots (appx. one pound)

Icing:
1 (8 oz.) package cream cheese (room temp.)
1 stick of butter (room temp.)
1 box 4x powdered sugar
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
Pecans, chopped (for garnish)

Baking

In the beginning of the year...no, I think it was towards the end of last year, I promised that I would try to get into baking... Ahhh, if I remember correctly, I said I was going to exercise regularly, do something nice for myself at least once or twice a month, and then learn how to bake.

I finally got myself into baking, yohoo! (Ok, I am not going to talk about regular exercise and doing something nice for myself, obviously, I have not been doing it or not really doing it as frequently as I want to, so let me just talk about baking, ok?)

It took me a while to finally start baking, hmmm, alright, I have only baked once, lol. But plans to bake are in the pipeline already. Had it not been for my hand mixer's misfortune of breaking down in the middle of my baking, I would have already baked more cakes and breads! It's true, but I am buying a new hand mixer, a simple one. I don't need a high-tech gadget as I won't be doing business with baking anyway, I will just be baking for the kids, for fun.

Here's the result of my first, and so far my only attempt at baking. It's a choco-banana cake that turned out so yummy coming from a first time baker like me!

See, that's my twin boys enjoying my cake, hehe. Baking my choco-banana cake was not a breeze though. First, my hand mixer gave up on me and second, the silicon baking pan that I bought was too big for my halogen oven I had to use a foil pan instead.

But generally, the result was worth the effort. I enjoyed the experience and as I said, I will be baking more cakes and breads in the coming days!

Happy baking!!!

Guyabano Ice-Sher

I did not intend to make a guyabano sherbet or ice-cream, I only wanted to make guyabano shake for my children. It’s their first time to taste a guyabano fruit and I want them to like it. Yes, I desperately want them to like it. I did a lot of reading about the fruit and its medicinal value is astounding. I don’t think my children will like the fruit as is, it has to be mixed with something my children love, and that is MILK!

I put the guyabano meat in the blender, pureed it, mixed it with 2 ripe bananas, added evaporated milk (big can), condensed milk (small can) to sweeten it and added cold water. We had no crushed ice so cold water it was then. After blending, I tasted my experiment, yummy! But no, the kids won’t like it, I am very sure of it. They are so picky! And the picky eaters were waiting, Oh no! I was debating whether (1) to serve it and run the risk of them not liking the fruit forever, or (2) to delay a little and turn it into ice candy (entails a lot of work, huh!) or (3) to simply put everything in a container and freeze it overnight. Okay, I chose the last option, much easier to do. I told my kids, the smoothie was not ready, eat banana instead, lol. They were disappointed of course. Anyway, I put the mixture in the fridge and froze it for 24 hours – ahhhh long wait!

But the wait was all worth it! My kids love the guyabano…. sherbet? Ice-cream? Ahhh, I don’t know what to call it, important thing is, they love it and are looking forward to another round of guyabano… sherbet or ice cream? Whatever!

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As an after-thought, I did a little research on the difference between an ice-cream and sherbet, this is what I got:

• Ice-cream contains almost 50 percent milk or cream, while sherbet contains a maximum of 2% cream or milk.
• Ice-cream is based on a dairy product, like milk, cream or butterfat, while sherbet is based on fruit puree.
• Ice-cream is categorized into five styles based on its butterfat content, while sherbet has only one style of categorization.

Hah, my guyabano is neither an ice-cream nor a sherbet, for one, it did not contain any cream. So, what shall I call it? Hmmmm, Ice-sher! A combination of ice-cream and sherbet, lol.

Was scared!

Thursday last week, I took my son to the doctor for his monthly check-up. My son’s health is fragile and his immune system is weak due to taking steroids for his kidney. He was coughing again and to rule out any serious ailment that could compromise his present condition, his doctor ordered a chest x-ray. I was also coughing so I decided to have a chest x-ray myself. Turned out my son’s result was negative, chest is clear of any obstructions or densities while mine was suspect. A questionable linear density was noted overlying my second anterior rib on the right. I was advised to go thru another x-ray for further evaluation, this time an antilordotic view. I was scared! I went to the hospital on Saturday, more depressed than I already was, and took the test. The whole of Sunday I was agonizing, I could not concentrate, I was so afraid of what the result would be. My x-ray in 2010 was fantastic. I could not believe I have questionable densities on my right lung this time.

Today, Monday, I got the result…..both upper lobes are clear! Praise God, now I can smile again :)

My Human Nature Loot

These are my latest purchases from Human Nature. I will be traveling to Manila next week and I normally travel light, that's what the small bottles are for. What's not in the photo is my Calming Massage Oil. I dropped by my favorite massage salon before going home. I was excited to use my massage oil, unfortunately,  my favorite masseuse accidentally dropped the bottle and broke it - fortunately, that happened after she transferred some oil to the bottle pump she uses at the salon. So yeah, I was still able to use it, rather, my masseuse was still able to use it for my favorite Swedish massage.

These are the stuff I got today:

1. Kids Natural Shampoo for my twin sons (it's pineapple scent)
2. Hair strengthening shampoo and Hair strengthening conditioner (200ml and 50ml)
3. Natural Berry Bliss Lotion (200ml and 50ml)
4. Natural spray sanitizer in citrus burst ( 50ml)
5. Hand and Foot Salve in strawberry scent (50ml)
6. Intensive Hair mask (gugo and avocado - 50g)
7. Camomile Feminine Wash (Natural 200ml, Cool 50ml)
8. Facial scrub (50ml)

I cried, I did

It feels good to be able to cry your heart out without concerns or fear of being seen, being criticized, being pitied, being heard. It’s just you and your hurts talking. And I did that last night in the car while driving home. It felt good. And I arrived home as if nothing happened. I thought my drama was over. But before going to sleep, there I was again, in my melancholic, despondent state, wanting to cry all over again. I was looking at my twin boys deeply asleep and I told myself, okay girl, you cry. They won’t see you, they won’t hear you. And so I cried, no, I howled -  deep, long howling -  in my bathroom until  I exhausted myself I had to drag my feet out of the bathroom onto my bed.

I have not cried for more than a year now. No, I did not cry at all when my ex-husband and I parted ways. I kept telling myself I should be strong. But now realizing the damage I did to myself, always keeping my emotions at bay, holding my tears from falling, showing people my strong stance, laughing at every opportunity, telling friends I am more than okay – all these self-esteem damage control measures are taking a toll on me. Now I am feeling the burden of my deep-seated pain, it wants to go out, it feels so heavy and my heart is complaining. I should have cried, I should have stopped pretending everything was fine, I should have let go. But I did not do that. I did not want people to pity me. As always, I was concerned about what people would say. I am an idiot!

No one sees my pain, not my children, not my friends, not my family and relatives. Not a single soul.  Only I see and feel my pain. Thanks to driving home alone. Now I know a place and a time to release my pent-up emotions when I need to.

I need some pick me up

My woes continue, spirit is sagging, mood spiraling down, mind is foggy, feeling lethargic, I AM in dire need of some serious "pick me up," help!

So hard to pretend that everything is perfect with me when deep inside my heart is bleeding and I am like a volcano on the verge of exploding. I feel like I am hanging on a thread and anytime now I am going to just fall flat on my face. This is a terrible feeling. I really don’t want to entertain this because I am fully aware this is not healthy. I don’t want to admit I am depressed, but this feeling is bothering me a lot. I don’t like it at all, yet I cannot seem to control it. A song, a note, an action, a movie, something, anything reminds me how alone and lonely I am. Literally, I am not alone. Of course I have my rugrats who kind of help balance my life. But figuratively, I am alone and lonely. I don’t even have someone to talk about how I really feel. I have pretended for so long that I am fine, why start talking about how I truly feel now? Arghhh!

I have to change my thought pattern and get out of the rot I am in, have to remain optimistic. I need to, for my own sake!

“Staying positive is not about living in denial; it's about choosing the quality of thoughts that you allow to take up residence in your mind.” – Great, great, great!

Ready?

Am I ready to love again? Maybe, but to fall in love again? I really am not sure. These are two different things as far as I am concerned.

I have been feeling lonely these past few days. I don’t show it of course, but deep inside me, I long to have a serious conversation with someone mature. I miss going out, going to the cinema, having dinner in a decent, quiet restaurant, going to the beach, walking hand-in-hand with someone, snuggling, drinking coffee, sitting side by side in silence. Except for activities that need a partner, the rest I can do all by myself. But would not I look pathetic doing all these alone? And would not it be much nicer if I do all these activities with someone special?

Now I understand it. The company of your children is blissful, the company of someone special is pleasurable. They are different kinds of companionship that any human should have and should not be deprived of. The level of happiness is incomparable.

Should I start exploring this possibility of dating someone again or should I just let the feeling of loneliness go away in time? Hmmm.... I think I am ready to have a relationship again, with someone really special. He has to be special, I won't settle for anything less... I know I said I am enjoying my single blessedness but many times these past few days, I long for the company of someone, someone to cuddle with, someone I could explore the possibility of falling in love with. I miss being in love! Yes, I miss that, whew! It’s fantastic to be in love and equally fantastic to be loved in return.

The question now is, how should I start and where should I start? Or should I start at all? Should I just wait for God's perfect match to find me or should I exert extra effort to find him? God works in wonderful ways and He surprises us with things we don't even ask or expect for, but didn't God also said, help yourself and I will help you? Haha, this is kinda funny, but seriously, I am inclined to go with the latter. I will look for that someone, I will pray that I will find The One, that someone whom God prepared for me. I am special, too and I deserve nothing less...

Shopping

This is crazy, I don’t have the right to splurge, or shall I just say, to spend, primarily because money is still tight but I have been feeling depressed of late and I turn to shopping online and in malls to find relief for this expensive “feeling.” Ok, let me get this straight. I am not deeply depressed, I am just a little depressed and whenever I feel this way, for no reason at all, I resort to prayers and….to shopping (arghhhh!) , to spending money for myself. Sorry, but sometimes this nagging negative feeling doesn’t just go away with prayers, lol… Oh well, now I am getting it, I guess I really am not depressed, I am just looking for excuses for my unnecessary spending. Bad!

So, what have I got since late July until now? Here we go…

1. Human Nature body and bath care products (Human Nature Davao) - P1,050.00
2. Silver jewelries for me and my daughters (bought in Baguio and online)- P1,900.00
3. Black and gray pashmina (Baguio and in Victoria Plaza Mall)- 350.00
4. Mendrez red open-toe wedge (GMall of Davao) - P699.00
5. Le Donne gold high heels (Gaisano South Mall) - P1,295.00
6. Norie black faux leather slipper (I use for driving, Gaisano South Mall) - P399.00
7. Plains and Prints black and gray dress (preloved, bought online) – P440.00
8. Gray linen dress (tailor made, fabric bought at Gaisano South Mall) – P750.00
9. Biofresh shoe insole silicon gel– P279.00

No sir, I don’t have anything from Abreeza or SM. I don’t like to hop from one shop to the other, that’s how the boutiques at Abreeza Mall and SM City Mall are structured – face it, that’s how shops are structured in any mall.  Abreeza does not have a one big department store where almost everything you want is in one place. You need to go in and out of several shops to look for things. SM is a little better but choices are limited, especially clothes.  Anyway, Abreeza Mall is out of my way, and personally, I find Abreeza Mall over-rated - or perhaps, the prices of clothes, bags and shoes there are just way out of my depth (come on, admit it girl, you’re overwhelmed and intimated by the price tag! Hahaha! Yeah, probably true)? I get more depressed with their nice but ridiculously priced stuff. ANYWAY, SM is just on my way home, but like I said, it has limited choices so I don’t frequent it often. Another turn off about SM is their parking area. It is huge but I prefer a parking space that’s within the confines of the building so I don’t need to worry for my back if Mr. Rain decides to fall or if Mrs. Sun decides to go full blast.  In other words, when I shop, I also consider parking convenience. I normally go to the reliable, good, old GMall, Gaisano South Mall and Victoria Plaza (though parking in VP is like SM) where good, affordable, quality finds abound. For my groceries, it’s NCCC Mall, no questions ask. It has everything I need. It can do more to improve its selection, but so far, I have what I need at NCCC Mall.

Eating with chopsticks

Eating at Japanese restaurants has never been a fave of mine, not only because I am not really into Japanese food, but also because I do not know how to use the chopsticks  (Psst, I hate using it!). I tried to learn how to use chopsticks but never succeeded. One, because I did not have the patience, and two, because of pride.

Okay, let's talk about pride, lol. I said I am a Filipino, I am comfortable using spoon and fork, and even in Japanese restaurants, customers are allowed (though, most often than not, frowned upon, duh!) to use spoon and fork, so why bother? I said to myself and to my friends that I will probably just die not learning the art (yes, art!) of using the chopsticks and that I don't care at all. Pride, ha?

Now, why talk about eating with chopsticks? Because, while I am proud to be a Filipino, it makes sense that when I am in a Japanese restaurant or eating Japanese food, eating with chopsticks is the appropriate thing to do. And because all my colleagues use  chopsticks while I stick to my spoon and fork and when I look at them having fun eating sashimi and sushi and maki rolls with chopsticks on their hand, there I was, looking (and feeling!) so dumb, holding my fork and having the most awkward moment of trying to eat a maki roll without breaking the roll apart! Whew, I often feel so out of place.

So at 41 (hey, no one is too old to learn something new!), I studied the proper use of chopsticks and even the proper way of eating a sashimi and a sushi, AND IT FEELS GOOD man! Hahaha. Okay, not only did I learn the trick, one of my twin sons learned it, too. He was around when I was watching the videos and he got so interested he said he wanted to learn how to use the chopsticks.

So you see, it's time to practice what we've learned and share the lesson with my other children. It's high time they learn it, too. Happy eating with chopsticks (or your finger, lol)!

Lessons from children

Should I post this under Life Lessons? No, I want to post it here. I want it here because these are lessons realized, learned, and shared by someone else, someone I respect: Paulo Coelho. 

Isn't it great to be happy for no reason? It is. But we, adults, always find a reason to be happy and more often than not, we rely on other people to give us happiness. One thing I learned in life, we have to be content to be happy. We have to be true to ourselves to be happy. We have to love ourselves, not necessarily more than we love others, to be happy. 

To be always curious. Yes, children are curious and they just don't care about the consequences of their actions. I call that spontaneity. As an adult, it's not always a good thing, lol, but it can be real fun to just poke at things, unturn some hidden stones, break a rule, ahhh, this is endless....But we are adults, and we need to learn and be responsible for our actions. Sometimes, curiosity just doesn't cut it.

To fight tirelessly for something. Kids are stubborn, and most of the times they don't understand what "give way" means. Oftentimes they wail and fight tirelessly over something without realizing that these things can be bad for them. But again, kids are spontaneous, they don't stop and think whether doing something can hurt them or whether saying something can hurt others. They just do it. That's how kids are.

Sometimes I wish I were a kid again. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that time when I don't have a care in the world, when I don't think but I just do because it gives me pleasure...When I can laugh out loud and not care if I offend someone, when I can howl no end because I want something and I can't have it, when I can be honest with whatever I say and not feed bad about it....

Ahhhh, to be a kid and be loved and pampered and cared for.... I miss being a kid.

Staying positive

I've seen this photo on Facebook and I just can't afford not saving it on my laptop and yes, posting it here.

Cliche or not, at this point in my life, this is the kind of disposition I want to have, and want to have forever.

Happiness is a choice

Happiness is a choice and if we choose to be happy, we will be. But coming from a broken relationship, being happy and staying happy prove to be a daunting task. It is a goal that takes so much will power and emotional and spiritual maturity to achieve. I am saying that I am taking charge of my happiness, yes I am... But the process is hard. Okay, that’s an understatement, IT IS VERY HARD.

Not crying, not wailing doesn’t mean that I am not hurting. After a year, I think I have already mastered the art of masking my pain with smile and laughter and indifference.  I need to show a strong stance and positive attitude for the sake of my little ones even if I don’t feel like it.  They must not see me weak or it will weaken them. They must not see me sad or it will sadden them.

I try not to dwell on the past but I know that in order to move on and free myself of my pain I need to walk down memory lane, process the feelings, understand it, completely accept my situation, and let go. But again, it’s not easy.  I bury my pain in my present without completely processing my past. This is wrong. But this is all I can do for now. I cannot do better than this, I will breakdown. I need to buy some time and build a better relationship with God and meet and mingle with more people before I’ll be able to process and let go of my pain. Right now, I am too frail and still too hurt to even try to go through the process. This is not the time to do it. 

“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way” – Wayne Dyer

Thrift store, cheap thrill

I am not a big fan of Ukay-ukay (thrift/bargain store) not because I don’t like second hand items but because the place is often dusty, dim, humid or hot and the goods have distinct yucky smell of medicine used to treat clothes, bags and shoes. I have tried going to Ukay-ukay shops several times in the past but only to get out of the store sooner than I can grab a great find. And digging through piles and piles of clothes or going thru several racks of clothes that are hanging way too high for my height, is just not my cup of tea, you know why? Because I sweat a lot, sneeze a lot, and I just hate it. And I don’t have the patience for it. If I want something, I go to the mall with a list of things to buy. I know where to go, what to do and I don’t stay longer than necessary. You cannot do this in a thrift shop. But I envy my friend who frequents Ukay-ukay shops and proudly brings home quality products - not necessarily branded/designer stuff - at a very cheap price. She’s so good at it! I dare say, Ukay-ukay hunting is a skill not learned by many people! Hayyyzzzz. Well, to comfort me, she sometimes brings me something nice for free. I compensate her effort by paying for the item or by taking her out to dinner or coffee or a movie ;)

Anyway, just this weekend my friend convinced me to accompany her to a thrift shop, this time, to a shop that is bigger (but still dusty and hot) and brags of selling only items from the US of A. I was free so I said okay, I’ll give it another shot.

I told her I only wanted to buy a bag (A bag, okay?) and that’s it. I did not want any clothes as I hate digging into piles of them or going thru dusty racks. One bag and we go. She said, fine, let’s go and find your gem of a bag!

So, off I went and braved the dust, heat and smell of the Ukay-ukay shop.  But wait, oh-oh, it’s not your ordinary Ukay-ukay shop, it is big! No, it is very big! And one thing I noticed, the crowd is mixed. I was told that the place used to be a warehouse converted into a badminton court and now a shop for store display/second hand items from USA. There is even a parking space inside! Can you now imagine how big the place is?

The store sells many household stuff (unused/store display or second hand home decors, frames, kitchen wares and other kitchen items, mirrors, cabinets, etc.) a few clothes and bags, lots of men’s shoes (to my dismay!), baby strollers and home appliances. Hey, they even have old records, yeah, records! And sweetie, books and all kinds of toys are a-plenty, too! They restock almost EVERYDAY and stash away (I don't know where!) unsold items every week. So if you find something and like it so much and can afford it, don’t let it go. Chances are, you won’t find it again.

It was a crazy experience. I found lots of branded and no-brand but quality goods. To cut the 3-hour rummaging story short, I went out of the shop soaked with sweat and stinky but smiling and carrying big bags of:

1. 1 small, black, Guess leather & fabric bag (it had $0.01 cent on ithe inside pocket, hehe - in very good used condition for only P300.00)
2. 1 small, black, unbranded evening bag – (P100.00 - this one’s really cute, good as new)
3. 1 small, black, Nine West bag (P200.00, made of genuine leather)
4. 1 small, red, Kenneth Cole Reaction leather sling bag (P200.00, my first ever red bag)
5. I medium-sized, brown, Nine & Co. office bag (a bit pricey but the leather is in excellent condition and the lining is very clean, this is my favorite buy for only P500.00)
6. 5 women’s belts (Wohoo! And all of them for only P350.00)
7. 1 black, Faded Glory, pullover shirt (This, I saw on the way out, hehe – for only P15.00, yeah, One-Five!)
8. 4 knives (for P150.00)
9. 1 flesh-colored potpourri jar (P50.00 – I actually use this as a cotton ball jar)
10. 1 tiny pepper jar (P20.00)
11. 1 decorative ball (P100.00 – I don’t know what it is called and I regret buying it, wahh)
12. 1 flower vase (P50.00, the color of fire, love it!)

MY LOOT! 

(not included in photo are the stainless steel knives and pepper jar)

MY BELTS (L-R) 

1st belt is not branded but made of genuine leather;  2nd belt is by lands end, genuine leather with solid brass buckle (perfect for my Nine&Co. bag); 3rd belt is by Yves St Laurent; 4th belt is braided genuine leather made in Argentina by Capezio (perfect for my Kenneth Cole Reaction red sling bag); 5th is a no brand fashionista wide belt made of genuine leather

MY TOP BUY 
A medium-sized, genuine leather office bag by Nine & Co. Lots of compartments, love this!

 

Total spending (excluding gasoline, of course) was P2,035.00 – not bad, considering the many excellently used branded bags and belts I got. Oh boy, the trip was so worth it. Come to think of it, what I paid for is actually way cheaper than the price of a brand new Guess bag. What a bargain!

By the way, I would not have been able to score those items at those prices if not for the excellent (but sometimes tacky, lol) haggling skills of my friend. I know there are lemons and cherries in Ukay shops, so if you are not a regular Ukay buyer, I suggest you tag along someone seasoned and skillful at scoring great items and haggling for cheaper prices.

I had a blast! Now the question is, will I do it again? I guess so (wink-wink).

 

By the way, my friend said I need to sanitize my bags before I use them. She recommends using Lysol disinfectant spray (for interior) and wait for 2-3 days before using the bag. To clean and condition the leather, I use Exfresh all color leather cleaner and conditioner. Reminder though, you first need to do a spot test for color-fastness. I also use a metal polish to restore the shine and quality of the bag’s hardware - metal O-rings, D-rings, studs and the like. Again, you also need to do a spot test as this could discolor some hardware. Result? Good-as-new-stuff for a fraction of the price of a brand new item, isn’t it nice and practical?

There you have it, hurray to my first ever successful Ukay-Ukay adventure! I never thought it could be this fun, what a cheap thrill!

Exciting things in the horizon

My financial woes will soon be over, I can already see the light at the end of the dark tunnel, and another tunnel is opening its way for us, God's tunnel of blessings.

God has been good to me. Yes, I complained, and yes, I questioned Him, I asked why He allowed me to go through what I went through. I am earning well and yet I don't get to enjoy my earnings. Almost all my earnings go to settling our bills and other payables. It has been going on for years now... but finally, hopefully, this will be over very soon.

We were hard up in 2008 and our financial woes compounded when my son Rae got sick in 2010. I almost lost him to Dengue. My world collapsed. I was so exhausted - physically, emotionally, financially. My son stayed at  San Pedro Hospital's ICU for 3 weeks, in the hospital ward for 2 weeks, and has been in and out of the hospital after his initial discharged due to kidney complications caused by Dengue. I cried, I wailed, I complained, I was angry - but at the end of the day, I knelt down and I prayed for God's healing and mercy. He delivered His promise and gave me back my son. But the incident put our family in a messy financial situation. It was very hard for me but the experience taught me a lot of things and made me stronger.

Our house is located in a very progressive location and our lot area is way bigger compared to other lots in our subdivision, but the house and lot was on mortgage, we did not  have complete authority over it. We put it up for sale in 2010 to pay our hospital bills. We offered it cheap but no one was interested. So we had to resort to left and right borrowings to settle our hospital and residential bills.

Our humble home, an 80 sq.m. house on a 372 sq.m. lot. 

That was almost two years ago. Good news is, recently, with patience and resourcefulness, we were able to fully pay the house, so it's finally and completely ours now! I am so grateful no one took an interest in our house, that we held on to it. This house is the only home that my children know and I know it will break their heart if we sell it. Good things truly come to those who pray, believe and wait. I can't wait however to give to my children what they truly deserve. They have been fantastic, truly understanding of our situation. I look forward to traveling with my children, to shopping with them, go pampering them. They have been deprived for many years now.

Exciting things are indeed in the horizon.

Skin whitening, opps, lightening

The desire to have whiter complexion is not uncommon to most Filipino women, in fact, my daughter who is blessed with such beautiful dark complexion is no exception. But I guess I have always been different. Never did I wish to have whiter skin, no way! I love my skin color to bits! But of course, I have always wanted to have smooth and very even skin tone. That, I was blessed to have in my younger days. But when I became older, I noticed that my bikini line and groin areas as well as my knees and elbows have gone darker than my natural color. I hate that, so I turned to whitening products to lighten my skin color in those areas. I’ve tried a lot of products but did not see significant results, or perhaps I did not try hard enough because the products that I’ve tried are laden with harmful chemicals and I was hesitant to slather them on my skin.

So my search for natural lightening (take note, it’s lightening, not whitening) products continued. And my diligent search brought me to Venus and Mars Naturals. V&M claims to be the first true emu oil skin care line in the Philippines and their products are made of safe, organic, pure natural ingredients. Alright, it was my search for Emu Oil that brought me to the V&M website. I’ve read very good feedback about their products so I ordered a couple to try - Bare it all (BIA) cream, CPC+G Whitening serum, Lulur soap and two bottles of milk spa body scrub (vanilla and mango variants)! BIA cream claims to smoothen and whiten the roughest and darkest skin areas. Hmmmm, I gave it a try. My verdict? POSITIVE! Oh, I so love their products! They don’t only smell heavenly, they are effective, too. Okay, this was in 2009 and after one order, I just forgot about lightening products by V&M or any other company, though I continue to use Emu Oil but I don’t order it from V&M since theirs is pricier compared to their competitors.

 Photo credit goes to V&M

Fast forward to Summer 2012, a time when any beach lover would prefer a proper swimwear over t-shirt and shorts but hesitant to wear one because of a dark secret, lol. Since I stopped using any skin lightening products, my groin areas have turned darker again. And so I was back to my search for an organic, natural solution. Not surprisingly, my search led me again to V&M! This time I ordered a new product called Bikini Bomb Peeling Balm together with their famous BIA cream (I ordered the un-mentholated variant) and CPC+G whitening serum.

What can I say? The products work wonder on my skin! The BIA cream did not only lighten and moisturize my groin, it also helped reduce my bumps that are already spreading towards my knees. I had this chicken skin condition since I got pregnant with my twins and it worsened in 2010 when my son was hospitalized for more than a month. Stress must have aggravated it. I only had it at the back of my thighs but towards the end of 2010, it started to appear on the front of my thighs spreading towards my knees. I also noticed a couple of bumps at the back of my upper arms and my upper back. I hate this skin condition! Goodness, I used to have such beautiful legs and smooth upper back! Now, I don’t think I will ever be able to confidently wear short pants, short skirts or a backless top without being so conscious about my bumps and dark spots. Oh yes, these bumps leave you with dark spots that do not go away with scrubs or lightening products. They seem to be embedded down under your skin. So the best thing to do is stop the bumps from spreading, or if you have the resources (which I don’t, lol!), go to a good dermatologist and have her removed your dark spots through chemical peeling or some other modern means. 

And because I love natural and organic skincare products, V&M is now a staple in my bathroom along with my favorite oils (rosehip oil, coconut virgin oil,  grapeseed oil, lavander essential oil and jojoba oil) from Botany Works and other natural products from Human Heart Nature - my shampoo, hair conditioner and feminine wash all come from HHN - and no Sir, these are not whitening products, lol.

(Disclaimer: I am not a paid endorser of V&M, Botany Works or Human Heart Nature. What you read here is written based on my personal experience using these products)

The adventurous side of me

I equate adventure with risk or naughtiness. And a typical good-girl, risk-averse person like me is obviously always reluctant to doing adventurous activities, activities that are not normal or common in my pretty neat little world. But from time to time I stop myself from being too careful (or too fearful?) and take risks and enjoy some adventure.

What risky activities have I done in the past? Ahhh, very few...Let's see:

1. I went para-sailing in Thailand. This was really fun. I have fears of height but I conquered that fear by deciding to go up there in the sky and fly like a bird. Would I do it again? Yes I would!
2. I ate crocodile meat - Ewwww! But hey, it was really good. It tastes like chicken, and its meat is white, so yeah, it even looks like chicken meat.
3. Driving long distance on my own - Wooooo, this was something I did not think I could do. Driving long distance with friends, yes... But on my own? Uh-oohh! But I did it! And I was proud of myself, I still am, lol.
4. Zipline riding - Wohoo, this I'd say is one fun-thrill activity that I first thought was really scary. So yeah, I guess I have partially conquered my fear of heights.
5. Binge drinking - This is really something I won't forget. We had an out-of-town planning/meeting but the night before the meeting, my colleagues and I decided to go out for a drinking spree. I went back to the hotel so intoxicated, I was sick and vomiting like crazy. I was so worried I would not be able to join the meeting the following day. Haaah, it felt so bad. It never happened again, though. I still drink occasionally, and never to the point of collapse, hehehe. I have children to protect, you know, lol.

These are the out-of-the-normal activities at the top of my head right now, hmmmm... five? I can only come up with five? Heller, very few indeed!

There is one thing I'd call a really big adventure that I thought I would do in July or August this year - but I guess, it's not going to happen anymore. I thought it is something that might be good for me and I really looked forward to it. But things happen and I don't argue with nature. Things happen for a reason and if I plan it and it doesn't happen, then it's not meant to happen.

Anyway, here are some adventurous activities I intend to try in the future:

1. Water adventures (water balling, water rafting, jet skiing, diving, wake-boarding, etc)
2. Sky adventures (hot air balloon, paragliding, skydiving?)
3. Travel abroad, alone

Woman of faith

So now I am thinking… Really, how do men see a woman of faith?

Is she someone to be pursued, or someone to be avoided?

Is she someone men find exciting, or boring?

Does she reflect beauty, or ugliness?

Does she bring spectacular colors to a man’s life, or just shades of black and gray?

Is she sincere, or cunning?

Is she simple, or complicated?

Who knows???

But one thing I know is that, a man who finds a woman of faith boring without getting to know her deeply is not only shallow but also arrogant and a coward.

A woman of faith is humble and honest.  A man who does not understand humility is arrogant and a man who doesn’t appreciate honesty is a fool.

A woman of faith kneels down and prays when in trouble or in doubt, a faithless man belittles the power of the Divine and relies on his own strength.

A woman of faith always finds ways to surface a man’s sensitive side and a man who is afraid to show this beautiful side of him is a coward..

Work and Holidays

I know I promised myself I will not talk about work but I am such a workaholic, so how can I help it? Ha-ha!

Life is a roller coaster ride for me these days and I expect a much faster ride in the next two weeks. With my time divided among activities that include helping with the preparation for our summer outing (that’s fast approaching, by the way), preparing for a 5-day training that immediately follows the summer outing, adjusting to the changes in our loan approval structure giving me sole approval authority for some loans and mentoring an understudy (for a month!), my head is already spinning! 

During the long holidays (the Season of Lent, weekend, and National Heroes Day) I consciously refrained from touching my work-plate. I chose to spend my five glorious days resting, praying, meditating, and having a good time with my children, my parents, siblings and relatives. We celebrated Easter Sunday at the beach- swimming, playing volleyball, grilling fresh fish, talking, laughing our hearts out, eating, eating and eating. It was a once in a blue moon gathering that I truly cherish so I really stopped myself from doing any work. Did the 5 free-from-work-days pay off? Yes Sir, they did! I have never felt so peaceful and so rested in quite a while.

Now am back to work and my reality is staring at me straight in the eye. After the long break, things have piled up and I feel like am back to square one, but who cares? I guess am still not THAT busy, because you see, I could still squeeze in a few minutes of my time to blog about my holidays, lol.

A night with my sisters

I had a good time with my sisters last night. It doesn't happen always.

My younger sister, the one next to me, accompanied her son to take the university entrance test at one of the universities here in Davao City and while at it, they went around the city to introduce my nephew to his new place. I can't believe my very handsome nephew is very shy. Well, am not really surprised, he has always been shy and always been very behave. I just thought he has outgrown his shyness.

I was on my way home when my sister called to inform me she was in town, grrrrrhhh, I was very close to home already! But what the heck, I wanted to see her so I said I was going to meet with her and our youngest sister. I went home and picked up my girls and drove back to the city.

We had dinner at Dimsum Diner in Abreeza. Food was not really good but the company was great. My sister's husband and our cousin joined us, as well as our youngest sister and her husband. They all decided to stay with me for the night instead of staying at a hotel. My youngest sister and her husband went home to pick up some stuff and then headed to my home which is 15kms away from the city.

I could not ask for more than what we had last night. It was a good time spent with my sisters. We had good conversation, good laugh, good food, too! And we slept at 1am! - So I was groggy this morning when I woke up and prepared to go to the office.

Hah, it was only for a night but I enjoyed it so much and I am hoping we can repeat the experience and spend more time together.

Thank you God for giving me wonderful sisters, and thank you for times like this!